Below are some links to resources that have really helped me over the last few months:
Jane at ARC was a lifeline to me and the only person that could get through to me after having to experience TFMR. Most parents will ultimately be reassured the pregnancy is progressing as expected. Sadly, some like us will receive the devastating news that their baby has a serious, sometimes fatal condition or might be told that the outlook is very uncertain.
ARC offers non-directive information and support to parents before, during and after TFMR.
I met Emma Belle through Instagram and I’m now proud to call her a friend. Emma has also gone through TFMR for similar reasons and she has supported me and continues to do so throughout my journey. Emma set up TFMR Mamas a fantastic resource with dedicated support groups.
Tommy`s is a fantastic charity for anyone who has experienced the loss of a baby, whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death, or termination for medical reasons. As it stands women will only receive support on the NHS after three miscarriages. This has affected me personally as we had to privately fund all treatment into the investigations of what caused the TFMR and miscarriage. The NHS would not count my TFMR as a miscarriage and I was told I would need another two miscarriages before they would do any tests or give me any further support. Tommy`s are petitioning the UK government to change this, saying that no one should have to lose three babies to get support.
Having had a bad experience with an acupuncturist previously I was unsure where to turn until I recently met Melanie Hackwell. Melanie helped me connect with my body and helped me find hope again. I now see her weekly for treatment and truly believe it has done wonders for my mental and physical health.
Rachael Posener has been my guardian angel. I started seeing Rachael when I got pregnant for the second time and was trying to find a way to deal with pregnancy after loss. Sadly, Rachael ended up helping me deal with a second pregnancy loss and now supports me weekly on my journey.
I met James through a workshop about dealing with loss and infertility. To be honest, James was the only person who I resonated with. He and his wife also went through TFMR, miscarriage and multiple rounds of IVF. James offers support for men in an honest no-bullshit way.
I know people find it very hard to know what to say or what to send when baby loss occurs. We received so many bunches of beautiful flowers but I became a bit overwhelmed by them and obviously, flowers die.
The gifts I found the most helped us were things like;
- Sleep spray, candles, calm balm. I received an amazing box from Don’t buy her flowers. I have subsequently bought boxes for others since.
- Chocolate (my husband’s favourite gift was Colin Caterpillars)
- COOK meals so we didn’t have to worry about eating.
- Cards. ArtandAvaCreations Ava designed the rainbow and star logo on this website. Her prints and cards are really beautiful and provide hope and positive affirmation.