Hi, I’m Kate, I’m 35 and live in London with my husband (although a Northerner at heart).

I am obsessed with interiors and started the Instagram account @kateshomeloves as an outlet of escapism from the very difficult reality of what was happening in my and my husband’s lives. However, as time went on I felt I was hiding behind the squares and I started to share the truth behind the perfectly filtered photos. In doing so it became a lifeline for me.

This blog is a much more detailed account of the snippets I have shared on Instagram. These are the words I was tirelessly searching the internet for when, eight months ago, my world came crashing down and the perfect roadmap of my life I had planned out got turned on its head. We were faced with making the most heart-breaking decision imaginable of having to terminate mid-way through our pregnancy for medical reasons and then five months later we suffered a missed miscarriage. This has sadly led to fertility issues and we are about to embark on IVF and genetic testing.

It is so important for me to write this whilst I am still on this journey and have not got our rainbow yet. It’s the blog that didn’t exist when I was thrown into a world of baby loss, there are many other brilliant writers in this space but I found many of the posts personally too triggering as I am still suffering from PTSD (you will never see a scan photo or distressing image on my website!) I want this blog to be insightful, honest and hopefully, you’ll find it humorous in parts!

My hope is that anyone going through this will read what I have written and feel less alone. Even if it hasn’t affected you personally, I hope you will be able to understand and support someone who is going through this, or, sadly, might go through this in the future.